Another one gone....

It seems a little unbelievable that another year has past.

2008 was a full-on year for me, my husband and I celebrated our 10th anniversary, my second child started school, my third child started daycare, i went back to work after 6 years at home with my beautiful kids, we welcomed two new members to the family...'Bella' and 'Ben' the cats...(who then decided to become 7....ARGHHHHH....so after finding homes for all but one of the kittens....we have now added 'Bindi' to the family as well!!) my eyes were opened to amazing things like facebook (hehehe) which has been awesome catching up with so many long lost!!! oh and blogging lol. All in all its been a very eventful year.

This year has had its share of heartache as well....with my Pop having a massive heart attack and needing emergency triple by pass surgery to keep him with us. This threw me big time! My Pop and Nan had a huge hand in raising me throughout my childhood....my Pop is the Father Figure in my life. He is an amazing man of integrity and a bug heart. I love my Grandparents so dearly....I cant bear to think of the day I have to say good bye.

So what are my plans for 2009......

well.....

um.....

there are so many things I want to achieve both within myself and for the life of my family.

I want to develop stronger friendships with my husband and my children.

I want to draw nearer to God in a deeper way...I want to understand His Will for my life and His Love for me.

I want to learn to like myself....I want to be free of the baggage that ties me down emotionally and spiritually.

I want to be healthier and fitter.

I want to trust more so that I can love more freely.

I want to excel.

I want to work hard and work well.

I want to be organised and not so stressed all the time.

I want to hire a house cleaner!!!

I want to be a support to the ones that are closest to me in my life...I want the people that are most important to me to feel cared for, loved, appreciated.

I think this list could go on forever...there are so many things that i want to improve about myself and my situation....but at the same time I am the happiest I can ever remember being....RIGHT NOW!

I have the most amazing family and friends....

I pray that you all have a safe and rewarding 2009...that the bumps and curves of life and love wont bounce you off you tracks.....love to you all....xxxx

......... :) ................

wow...I just had an awesome time at the Kaiser work party...had wayyyyyyyyy to much to drink...probably acted like a fool...but I really did have so much fun!!!

Im so blessed to work where I do...and I love the people I work with!!!

oh no

Ok so im kinda freakin out at the moment!!!

Im not the kinda girl who dresses up very often...i love my comfy clothes...but somehow I have to find something to wear to the work Christmas party...the invite dress to impress!!

The problem lies here...I think Ive forgotten how to do that!! And even if I knew what I was doing, my body has gone through some dramatic changes since having children...and they werent good changes!!! I look awful in everything I try on!!

So I think Im not going to be all that impressive at the Christmas party...which makes me sad (devastated actually) cos i really wish my body was the way it was 9 years ago and i could have worn whatever I wanted...not that I was that great back then but I certainly didnt have all the awkward bumps and bulges that are now all over me and simlpy refuse to look decent in anything!! I am going into town today with a new mission...I am no longer looking for a dress that will impress...(cos thats clearly not working for me)...I am now going to look for a simple top and pants...something safe and comfortable...this makes me a little sad cos I really wanted to look pretty and girly.

Oh well one day I will hopefully get somewhat of my shape back and feel confident enough to buy pretty clothes again...problem is a cant see it ever happening. I struggle with this everyday of my life and have for a long time...the truth be told I have had an eating disorder for the majority of my life...I know I know...hard to tell now cos im fat as at the moment...but I have suffered since I was 10 with bulimia which then eventuated to anorexia when I was 16 which landed me in the locked ward of an adolecsent hospital being forced to eat in exchange for my freedom.

(Some of you are probably thinking wow this is a little to deep to be writing on your blog jess...but...well this is me its who I am...)

I had a lot of trauma in my childhood,sometimes life just sux and this contributed to the decisions I made...I cant blame anyone else anymore...the buck has to stop with me..Im an adult now...in control of my choices...but I still really struggle day to day to not fall back into these habits...they have been there for as long as I can remember...the constant nagging voice of "you will never be good enough, you look disgusting, your fat, your ugly...." So in some strange way as protection against my self I have become very overweight...and as much as I cant stand to look at my self in the mirror...its a little safer to be this way than to run the risk of becoming sick again and being taken away. I have a 6 year old daughter and I dont want her to grow up knowing the realities of anorexia in her home...so I give her the reality of having an obese mother instead...makes a lot of sense doesnt it....well theres the funny thing I suppose...when has it ever made sense?

What child is this....

ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Tonight is the night!!!

My little Miss Jasmine Claire is singing @ GLORIOUS @ Kardinia.

Im so nervous for her and excited and so very very very proud!! I think she is so brave!!

We went and got a beautiful dress today....oh and shoes...nail polish...earings...headband...hehehehe. Nothing like taking the opportunity to get dressed up!!

I will post some photosof the event as soon as I get the time!!

Stay tuned....xxx

My eyes welled up on Thursday night, when my little 19 month old Joshua said "PEESSSS" for the first time!!!

(thats please for all those that dont speak toddler)

Oh what a magical moment it was....im soooo proud of him.

Josh started talking really early, saying "dadda" at just 5 months old...he said a couple of other words in the following months but then at around 9 months he stopped..only letting out "dadda" and "mam".

So this progress is much celebrated in our home at the moment...its like the lights have turned on for him!!

My good friend Sharni looked after all my kids yesterday cos i was working and they are on school holidays...(thank you Sharni...you are a star!!xxxxx) and when i picked up my kids Sharni told me that Josh had been saying "ball"!!!!!

I cant wait to hear what he will come out with next....

there are so many joys to be found in the daily lives of my children...I cant imagine my life without them....xxxxx

WOO HOO!!!!!!

My Beautiful little 6 year old was asked to sing at this years Kardinia Carols....Im sooooooo proud of her I want to cry!!!

Every year Kardinia puts on Carols for the Geelong Community, there is usaully around 1000 people attend on each of the nights...what a huge gig for a six year old!!

I think this would be close to Jasmine's biggest dream come true right now...she adores the stage...much like her mother once did..a long time ago...back when i actually had a shred of confidence. I cant tell you how proud I am of my little girl...I cant wait to see her up there...

We better go shopping for the perfect dress!!!

So every one that knows me...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE come along and see my girl do her thing on the 13th and 14th on dec at the Kardinia Heights Centre 7:30pm....oh by the way...anyone with a good camera....could you do me a biggie and take some awesome shots of my little star....xxx

Life is a beautful gift from God

My life is the most beatuiful gift and while those that know me will say i whinge and whine alot...i truely am thankful for everything i have...

Things are going really well at the moment...i feel as though God is smiling down on me....not sure why...lol...but I sure am happy and content to bask in the blessings He is bestowing upon me.

I think its far too easy to dwell in the misfortunate things that happen to us and around us...and much harder to focus on all the amazing things that are given to us each and every day. Our lives can flurry along and sometimes we can tend to feel as though we are being left behind with nothing to show for our days but dirty dishes and the washing pile that keeps growing and growing...but instead of looking at these thing as the markers of whether we have been successful or productive..whether we are a good or neglective mother,wife or friend...

prehaps we should look at who have we hugged today...

how many times did we smile or make someone else smile...

did we forgive quickly and not hold a grudge that will only weigh us down...

did we love someone with everything we have...

did we sit and watch our children...really look them in the eye and listen to them when they try to tell us something that is important to them (even though it seems trivial to us)...

did we call that person that is on our hearts or send them a txt to let them know we are thinking of them...

have we fed our loved ones not just physically but emotionally...

did we give of ourselves today to make someone elses day a little better...

Are not these the things that truely matter at the end of the day...

the things we should measure our productivity on...

I want to be the best person I can be in all areas of my life...(and I will be the first to admit that I am waaaayyyy off the mark)...and I truely believe that to be a better person I need to look at the measures I put on myself...my priorities...my motives...my heart...

I want my husband to be able to stand at our 50th Wedding Anniversary and say that was a faithful, loving, supportive woman that is proud to have as his wife...and the same goes for my children...I want them to know how important they are to me and how blessed I feel to be their mother...not because I told them...but because I showed them that everyday of their lives.

Back to work...

I went back to work yesterday for the first time in 6 years......man am i tired today!!
I got a casual position at the daycare centre. I was in the kinder room...and i really enjoyed it...they are a lively bunch of kids...lots of fun.

Im so grateful that i have a job...im hoping for 2 days a week at the moment until josh goes to school and then i will want more full time work....who knows maybe one day we might be in a better financial position!!

Being Thankful...

Today has been a really great day, with so much to be thankful for!!

1. That mr.joshua has made a rapid recovery and is now back to eating and drinking with no fever!!
2. That Chez and got the Father's Day Cards done...and had a great day together!!
3. That Austrlian Idol is back on and I finally have a show on telly that Im actually interested in again!!

Being Thankful...

Here we go again...

today im thankful for...

1. the fact that (as much as i know loves playing football) the junior footy season is over!! that means no more freezing cold 7am saturday mornings!!...till next year anyway!! lol
2. talking to my mum and nan and pop on the phone today...i love em!!
3. the cuddle from Chez...that was lovely!

I cant believe how cold it was at footy this morning!! The boys played in shorts in 3 degree weather!! That in itself is worth a medal a my book!!

Go Dragons!!!

Well done boys!! It was their Grand Final today and although they didnt win, they put up a mighty fight and most certainly deserved to be there!! I was very proud of all of them!! Second to the top of the ladder is a pretty awesome way to end the season if you ask me!!

I think its going to be little athletics for the next installment of kids sport for the matters family!!

Ohhh i really hope that doesnt involve early mornings...but i dont like my chances...oh well at least it wont be winter...come on i have to find a positive in this somewhere...dont I?

Being Thankful...

Well...today im thankful for....

.....hmmm....

1. that i was able to have a sleep today...so needed that,
2. that i didnt have to cook tonite...that was really nice,
3. that Big W fially got the "glitter stack" back in and i had enough money on me to get it for mumspace,
4. how cute my kids looked for their dress up day at school...
5. that we live in an awesome country where we are free to worship our Lord without any fear,
6. for the beautiful sunshine this afternoon...even though it was very fleeting...it was lovely,
7. for my husband buying some new designing tools so he stops annoying me (lol)
8. for the fact that we livein a day and age where i can get antibiotics for this stupid chest infection that just wont go away,
9. for the fact that my husband works for an employer that gives him sick leave,
10. for returning to full health...and that his mighty appetite is back,
11. and just simply that its friday and i get to spend time with my beautiful little family...

Oh whoppsy daisy...hehe...thats more than 3...but everyone of them is worth mentioning...it makes me realise,once again, that I have so much in my life to be thankful for, I love my life and i wouldnt change anything in it right now!!

Thank you, Lord.

Being Thankful...

Today I am thankful for...

1. the rain!! my grass was very thirsty...though the towels on the line could have done without the second "rinse"!! lol
2. going to the movies with my handsome husband and then out to lunch...just the two of us...man its been a long time since we have 'us-time'!! Well overdue and much enjoyed!!
3. that we sold another Hoodie today!! YAY!!

I had a really lovely day today..and for that I am truely ...thankful...

Being Thankful...

I was reading Melissa's Blogspot today and she was writing about how important it is to be thankful!!

So i decided it was a great idea of hers..and that i would join in..of writing 3 things everyday that I am thankful for...

Here goes...

Im Thankful for..

1. that i had some time to myself to scrap today!!
2. that i really like what i did on my LO today!! lol
3. that my family all had a good day...no major upsets!!

Well lets see if I actually keep this up....hmmmm...

This is the most recent photo of me and my 3 beautiful children!!

Jordan Christopher (aka..jords..jordsta..jordy) is the eldest..he is 8 years old,in grade 3,and an amazing Play Station-er!! Give him a game..any game..he will have it clocked in a week!! (ITS COSTING US A FORTUNE!!) LOL. Jordan is a compassionate young man who hates injustice with a passion!!Jordan loves life..as do all my kids..he loves to socialise and his family are the most important thing to him..I am truely Blessed to have a son like Jordan!!

Jasmine Claire (aka..jaz..jazzy..bella) is my middle child, she is 6 years old, in prep, and she is an amazing singer!! Jasmine sings all day long..im sure she even dreams about singing!! lol. Jasmine is a very strong personality..she knows what she wants!!! Jasmine has a beautiful,kind,caring nature...she loves her friends and family. I am truely Blessed to have a daughter like Jasmine...she is my delicate flower..and it is my joy to watch her bloom!!

Joshua Caleb (aka..josh..joshy..mr.squashy) is my youngest..and my last!! He has just turned 15 months old. He is just the cutest little man ever!! I love to watch him make new discoveries everyday..everything is new to him..and he doesnt waste a second of life!! He is the busiest little person I have ever come across and now that he has just started walking, im sure my life is about to change in some big ways!!! lol. Joshua is a very determined child who lets nothing stand in his way...and i mean that litterally!!! lol. I am trauly Blessed to have such an amazing little bubba like Joshua!!

I FIGURED IT OUT!!!

YAY!!!!

I finally figured it out...with only slightly doing my head in!!!

LOL

Sharni and Nicole...I hope you're proud of me...

Yay!! I have a blogspot!!

Hey there everyone!!

Just thought I would join my friends in the blogspot sensation!! LOL.

Not sure what im going to do on here yet..but we will see where this takes me!!

Hope you will join me on my journey.... :)